Your weekend weirdness comes courtesy of Mr. Pat Robertson, the former Southern Baptist minister and current host of The 700 Club, a(n extremely) conservative Christian news and TV program. Mr. Robertson, who a few years ago actually said that the United States should “treat marijuana the way we treat beverage alcohol” before abruptly changing his mind and being a staunch opponent of Colorado’s recreational marijuana legalization, recently broadcasted to his flock of followers that smoking marijuana is — wait for it — “slavery to vegetables.”

Watch the weirdness unfold:

“It’s amazing — we’ve mentioned this before. God gave you and me as human beings authority. He gave us dominion over everything on this earth. Over all the animals, all the snakes, all the birds, all the plants, all the vegetables. Cocaine is a product of a vegetable. Alcohol is a product of a vegetable. Marijuana is a vegetable. And yet people are enslaved to vegetables! And you were made in the image of God! God made you in his image to reign and rule with Him! He gave you incredible authority! Why would you become a slave to a vegetable? Why?! Why would you do it?!”

I for one welcome our new vegetable overlords. Also, it sounds like Mr. Robertson could use a V8. 


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